Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Kids say the darnest things

A roundup of student quotes from the last two weeks:

In a seventh grade class, we’re trying to get the past and future tenses of “I must/had to go to the store” - “yesterday I had to go to the store,” for example:
Teacher: Can anyone tell me?
Student 1: Must.
Teacher: No, that’s present tense.
Student 2: Have must.
Teacher: Not quite.
Student 2: Ohhhhhhh, had must.
Teacher: No.
Student 3: Needn’t.

Talking about Hurricane Sandy in a tenth grade class:
Me: And did you talk about some of the reasons why Hurricane Sandy happened? Big, dangerous storms like that are not typical in that area of the United States.
Student: I heard on the news that some people think it was the hand of Allah striking down America.
Me: Yeah, there are definitely some crazy people with really crazy theories out there.
Student: Ah, good. I wasn’t sure if they were crazy or if all Americans were crazy.
Me: Well…

Talking about must/need/ought/have to:
Teacher: Does anyone know the answer to number two?
Student: He ought have to go there.
Teacher: Close, we don’t want the infinitive of go…
Student: He have ought to go there.
Teacher: Remember we’re working with the verb right now.
Student: He ought went there.

Discussing job interview success, comparing a picture of a colorfully, sloppily dressed and clearly bored woman with one of a professionally dressed eager-looking woman:
Teacher: So, if you were hiring someone, which one would you choose?
Student: Well, possibly you would want the woman on the left [the colorful/sloppy one] for a creative job like working at a gay bar.

 Student is giving a presentation:
Student: So in Depo Sausitee [sic] we can see that-
Teacher: Pardon, in what?
Student: Depo Sausitee.
Teacher: Do you mean "Dead Poet Society"?
Student: Yes. Depo Sausitee.

Student is reading instructions aloud:
Student: It is wery impotent to look at the pictures first.
Me: Very important.
Student: Wery important.
Me: Vvvvvvery.
Student: Wwwwwery

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